adik, adik, adik!!!

Sabi ni R: "ung palagian magkita ay pwedeng masanay at magkasawaan. kaya maganda pa rin kung nagkaka-missan"

Yan din sabi ni H1 kanina, na sometimes, you may have to follow the two-day rule...na dont contact the other person for two days; this is to see if the other person na mauuna in contacting you so this way, you know daw that you have a chance with that other person...I mean, what's the deal with this? Mejo uminit ulo ko sa kanya. Bat kelangan ng "games"?Bat kelangan pa-miss-in yung isang tao? Kung gusto, gusto; kung ayaw, ayaw. Hindi kelangan pahirapan ang isat isa...

Say ni Marlon:

chux.

there is some truth in what they said, and most of us are guilty of this.
naniniwala naman ako sa delayed gratification, makes us appreciate things a lot more.
but this is only good, if somehow you're assured of where you actually stand in the relationship.
the problem with what i have with him (if ever we have anything, in the first place) --
i have no clear idea of his real intentions.
i want to believe na something special is going on, but there are signs that say otherwise.
sometimes i don't feel his sincerity, and sinabi ko na yun sa kanya.

minsan nalulungkot ako kasi feeling ko ginagamit lang ako ng mga lalaki sa buhay ko (harsh!).
in spite of the things na nangyari sa amin, aids and i remained friends until a few weeks ago.
nett said that na hindi ako mabitiwan ni aids kasi may nakukuha sya sa akin na
di kayang ibigay ng girlfriend nya and his other friends.
di ko alam kung ano yun, but he sounds happy when he talks to me.
but then he disappears, and contacts me again if he needs me once again.
and i don't even bother to call him kasi i know na he's just there, unless i need him.
stewart called me the other night para magpatulong sa isang project nya ngayon.
although nilibre naman nya ako ng dinner when we went out last time,
but i get the feeling na naaalala lang ako pag kailangan nila yung tulong ko.
it's flattering, yes, but is this what i want for the rest of my life?
to quote kate winslet in the holiday, to be the bestfriend, and not the leading lady?

chux.

tinawagan ko si R kanina sa hotel room after he gave me his number,
kasi may isusumbong/ikukwento sya sa akin.
like a good friend, super listen naman ako and gave him advice.
it was somewhat work-related, pero more on personal din kasi we talked about his family, etc.
but i noticed he didn't even ask me about me.
all he ever asked was kamusta na ako, and sabi ko, ok lang naman.
i'm not expecting na mag-ask sya kung ano ikinamatay ng lolo ko,
or kung gaano kadami ang mga pinsan ko sa father side,
pero somehow, i want to feel na part of him is interested to know me.
i never thought na i'll ever be interested in him (iglesia, age gap), but i'm starting to miss him.

but the question is, am i just going to be the bestfriend AGAIN?

sorry kung lagi na lang ako naglalabas ng inis related to him.
and i guess, it's too early to even rant about what's happening with us (us!).
siguro it's not really about him, but rather about what i want in my life.
ayoko nang ma-feel na emotionally ginagamit lang ako to fill some void in their lives,
and i want to experience being genuinely wanted, more than needed.

or is this the case of being burned too many?

anyways, gusto ko nang mag-vacation at mag-white water rafting.
and ayoko nang ma-inlove EVER again.
sad, but i guess it works for me -- masarap ang tahimik na buhay.

cherryl, kamusta ka na? chux.