tama na yan inuman na

like marlon, i am terribly sad, need to drink some!!!

i was supposed to meet H1 today...yesterday, he said that he'll be in ny to do some stuff for work and asked that we meet straight after work...so shempre i was excited to see him again...then come 3pm he said he was stuck in traffic due to rain in staten island, new jersey or whathaveyou...around 5pm, he called but i missed his calls as had to do some work...anyways, received his vm, cancelling our dinner tonight, saying something like "i hope you don't mind. well, i know you mind because we made plans then di matutuloy...but i hope you understand." then he goes on to explain why he couldnt make it...that at that time he was still in newark and that he was really exhausted being "trapped" inside his car for hours and that it was raining and since traffic was really jammed, he just decided to go home...ugghh!!!

like what we always said di ba cherryl/marlon, kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw, madaming rason (tama ba?)...anyways, i think i sort of understand; as a friend, i think it would be fine...but thing is, i have to admit, na-attached na ko sa kanya (chuks!) so mejo kindda may mga expectations...so what this is telling me is that maybe he really isn't that interested in me...that perhaps once it becomes inconvenient then i am not worth pursuing (chuks!) kasi konting compromise lang coming to ny (i think ha- shempre di ko naman alam pero iisipin ko to kasi mejow galit ako), hindi nia magawa...then i go on to think perhaps it's because he has invested so much on his ex-fiance, wala ng naiwan sa kanya or ayaw na niang mag-invest as much (sabunutan ko yung girl na yun talaga)...but no, just last tuesday, he left work early (ergo, kaltas sa pay nia kasi he's paid according to the number of patients he treats) to accompany a friend na girl (met her na, and im sure they're just friends) to get her driver's licence, so issue here is not really about compromise...i dunno, tas eto pa: na-compare ko na naman sia with the guy i first dated when i came to ny...yun, no doubt super interested sa akin kasi he would go to extremes talaga just to see me, please me etc. (i.e. he took vaca leave for a few days para samahan ako to get some legal docs etc- not that i asked pero it was sweet, in a way)...too bad, i don't like him so much as to actually want to be in a long-term relationship with him...hmmm why am i comparing boylets???!!! not fair at all...

anyways, i won't overanalyze na...maybe it's not worth it; maybe this is buh-bye...sad!!! inuman na!!!